Miami Connection

• Directed by Richard Park (a.k.a. Park Woo-Sang) and Y.K. Kim
• August 26, 1988 (Central Florida) / December 11, 2012 (re-release)

A martial arts rock band faces off against a ninja motorcycle gang tightening their grip on the Miami drug trade. That is just bonkers sounding so count me in.

Some movies find their audience right away. Others take time. Miami Connection is the latter though after watching I am not sure how. It is certainly bad in so many ways but manages to establish a connection with the viewer. It is an odd conglomeration of 80s film elements that come together in a disjointed mess.

The heroes of the movie are an ethnically diverse rock band called Dragon Sound and the songs they perform are a bit on the nose when it comes to the film. They’re not just there to have songs that kind of fit with the story. Many of the songs sound like recaps of the plot to the point in which they are performed-including elements that performers should not know about. It’s just really weird. That and they perform on stage in semi karate looking outfits.

Somehow this band is important to the control of the drug trade in that particular area of Miami. They say as much towards the beginning of the movie but never really explain why this band with a mixture of superficial pop and pop that’s trying to be edgy is important to the drug trade. They’re just a house band at a local nightclub. They happen to know taekwondo but are still just the house band at a local nightclub. How does that make sense?!

Apparently this band is a threat just because they know taekwondo and that’s it. Seriously. How they find themselves in the center of all the action is because they took over for another band and somehow that band ends up connecting with the ninja group or whatever. I’m honestly not sure what’s going on in this movie by the very end. The focus of this all was message and action and not on the narrative.

The guys-all the guys-in this movie are shirtless. A lot. Uncomfortably so. They are not built like Stallone or Schwarzenegger or even Van Damme. Steven Seagal might have even been in better shape in his heyday. Why was the director so focused on the guys having their shirts off if they’re not particularly in shape? Weird…

And apparently everyone in Dragon Sound is an orphan. Huh? I think some of these elements such as them all being orphans were added in after the movie was completed. In fact, I think a great deal of this movie was added after initial shooting was done. Miami Connection is a bit of a mess. But an enjoyable mess from the 80s. It’s everything wrong with low budget action films from the time yet is so very good.

Bass guitarist John (Vincent Hirsch) is dating guest vocalist Jane (Kathie Collier) who is the sister of gang leader Jeff (William Ergle) who may be the brother of ninja leader Yashito (Siyung Jo) but that bit is kinda ignored. Jim (Maurice Smith) is the band’s keyboardist whose father dies but is searching for his dad. Mark (Y.K. Kim) is the rhythm guitarist and father figure of the group who dispenses Cosby Show-esque wisdom (without the drugging of women) to the members. Jack (Joseph Diamond) is the drummer who dreams of touring to promote world peace and Tom (Angelo Janotti) is the lead guitarist/vocalist who hits unconvincingly on random ladies that the group passes by when going around the beach in their car.

And is Mike the hero/main character? Does that honor go to John and/or Jane? I’m not sure. I have absolutely no idea who the main character is in this. It completely lacks one. Sometimes it’s Mike. Sometimes Jim who is an orphan whose father dies but then he finds his father? I’m confused by that. It’s never Tom but It’s maybe Jack who suggests the world tour. I dare you to figure out who it is. Somehow though Miami Connection proceeds from beginning to end without ever actually establishing a main character. That is rather amazing.

The acting in this movie waffles between outright bad to unnecessarily over-the-top and rarely falls in the middle. Did anybody even rehearse before they filmed? Given the clear budgetary limitations I wouldn’t be surprised if nobody here had ever even made a movie before (or since) but practicing your lines certainly helps and they didn’t do that here.

The action is pretty rough. It’s poorly set up and there are points when the individual who should be attacking gives his opponent time to do something that could be easily stopped. But there is something very watchable about this movie. It is just a hairsbreadth away from being done right. Not that it would ever be a great movie, but it’s almost to being a well-executed movie.

Ninjas in black moving around sunny southern Florida in large numbers in broad daylight. The high percentage of orphans in Dragon Sound. The leader of the former house band so desperate for a gig that he gives away all his earnings in perpetuity from the club to the leader of the gang whose help he seeks to Jane never getting that a relative of hers might be a drug dealing ninja crime lord to a band that is the only thing that can stand against the evil of Miami. It is just a half inch away from being good. But because they were taking it seriously it manages to transcend its issues just enough to make it into the realm of guilty pleasure.

It brings together the 80s obsession with ninjas and the standard plot of drug running and mixes it up with pop music and a message of friendship. They clearly had a message to deliver and because of inexperience let that message overwhelm telling a good story. That is an increasing issue today but very noticeable here because these people were not professionals. But the movie does entertain. It hits that sweet spot that direct-to-video films were aimed at. Purely mindless entertainment that you will take in again once the feeling of shame for watching fades.

While not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, Miami Connection is an entertaining movie. It’s one of those so-bad-it’s-good types. It works despite itself. I recommend you check it out!