The Original My Bloody Valentine

• Directed by George Mihalka
• February 11, 1981

When a group of friends decides to throw a Valentine’s Day party they incur the wrath of a maniac in mining gear who begins to pick them off.

My Bloody Valentine is quite possibly the most Canadian horror film you will ever see. I went into this completely blind and there is no missing that this was filmed in Canada. From the opening shots and first bits of dialogue you are waiting to hear “Oh Canada!” And that’s a bit refreshing. They were not afraid to be to be Canadian. It is something you pick up on before the first mention of Nova Scotia.

This movie came out in 1980 after the original Halloween as well as the original Friday the 13^th. And there’s no missing those film’s influence on this movie. We have a remorseless themed killer going around murdering people in the most gruesome way possible. But it just doesn’t end there. Our killer is a mysterious and silent figure much like the two killers in the major franchises of the era. And much like Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees he has a preference for a specific weapon-in this case a pickax rather than a knife, but much like Michael Myers he isn’t locked into using just that.

In its execution this film contains all the wrong things that make the guilty pleasures of 80s horror so enjoyable. Themed killer, plenty of stupid victims, and a high body count in relatively imaginative ways. And like some of those movies far too many of the victims you’re happy to see die. I really can’t find too many people that are likable in this. Maybe that goes to the acting because it’s not that good. It’s marginally adequate. I would like to say there is overacting, but rather instead there is underacting. Many of the characters are remarkably dispassionate on just about everything they experience from the mundane to being chased by a killer.

One or two smart decisions would’ve kept everyone safe. I’m not talking about the youthful victims but rather the police and the mayor just being honest about what’s going on. Instead they’re desperate to cover things up to prevent panic or keep the first Valentine’s dance in 20 years happening. Take your pick.

Speaking of that Valentine’s dance, how boring must town life be in Valentine Bluffs that everyone is so jazzed to have that dance? Valentine’s Day vomited all over that town apparently in association with the dance. Maybe it’s because I’m an adult in a different era but I just can’t see why there is this level of excitement. There’s no talk of a DJ or a band or much of anything really. They are just going to do what it looks like they usually do but on a very specific day with red and pink decorations added in.

There’s a slow and steady pace to My Bloody Valentine which is a bit to its detriment for any type of effectiveness for the deaths. The pace of the film is like a light jog rather than a sprint. Even the climactic battle at the end is rather tepid. I know in general what is filmed gets some alteration in editing for greater effect but I am not sure we got that here. I think the filmed scene was placed in the movie pretty much as is with the bare minimum of editing.

At the center of everything-and I do mean the center of everything-there’s a bit of a love triangle going on. T.J. (Paul Kelman), having not been able to make it on the West Coast, has come back to scenic Nova Scotia to work in the local mines of Valentine Bluffs. Unfortunately Sarah (Lori Hallier), the woman he just up and left behind, has taken up with his former friend Axel (Neil Affleck). And T.J. just assumes his extreme masculinity is enough for Sarah to come running back to him for reasons. Axel, apparently insecure in his relationship, is just generally a dick towards his former friend now coworker.

The movie is, well, rough. I’m not sure if these people were anywhere close to seasoned professionals. Their performances were not that good. Again you’re watching this movie for the kills and not to see great thespians perform but it doesn’t hurt to be able to deliver the lines well enough. Bruce Campbell has been at his fair share of enjoyable schlock over the years, but he always does fantastic work. My point is you should be able to deliver your lines well. 

Yet despite its heavy flaws there’s an undeniable charm about it. That charm is due in part to the era which spawned it, but it also is due to the use of Valentine’s Day as part of the theme. It certainly upends the whole romantic notion and creates some unintentional humor. There is enough different with this that holds your attention.

I watched the theatrical version and not the uncut version which was also included in this steel book. It’s my understanding that nine minutes or so of footage was removed and possibly that missing footage could have improved the story. Or at least the effectiveness of the deaths. While there are some close-up shots where you know the person is dead, you can’t see too much. The blood is brightly colored and even if the hearts used are real, the fake blood makes them look fake as well.

Yet it works. And that’s because it embraces what it is which is a trashy horror film. They knew what they were doing and never tried to pretend it would or could be anything else. This was cheap thrills done on the cheap.

The original My Bloody Valentine is a cool classic that somehow has a charm that is difficult to put my finger on. I certainly see the flaws and the poor craftsmanship, but I still liked it. There’s something just enjoyable about it and I think you should check it out!