America 3000

• Written and Directed by David Engelbach
• April 1986 (US)

In a post-apocalyptic Colorado where a tribe of women rule over the men, one man rises up to free the others.

Everybody wanted a piece of that sweet Mad Max action. And can you really blame them? A film that sets a standard and becomes a cultural touchstone is something every studio wants. At the minimum they want the cash that can be generated by people looking for more of that sweet feeling. Enter into this America 3000 which is a post-apocalyptic comedy set in the year, well, 3000 I guess whose main thrust is the battle of the sexes done in such a campy way that could only be found in the 80s. As a film this is replete with allusions and more than a few direct references to the 80s.

Basically the world is divided into men and women with the women capturing men in a very Amazonian way to just breed with them or keep them as pets. Don’t think too deeply about this. It’s not that kind of a movie. Switch your brain to “Off.”

A lot of this world is poorly explained. You need to understand the rules even in a comedy. Such as the concept of ‘The President’ and enough of the structure of the world in which this exists. For example what exactly is ‘The President’ in this world? He comes off as some kind of mythical figure that’s more akin to King Arthur returning before it segues into more like a Messiah that brings back civilization. With a little bit more explanation this could’ve been some very idiotic and entertaining social satire. It’s still a guilty pleasure but doesn’t quite get to where it easily could.

In this world men are big and dumb, but that early on begins to change when as a boy our hero Korvis (Chuck Wagner of Automan fame) finds a children’s book that teaches him how to read which opens up his mind. What does he read? Just enough in a Presidential bunker to do…stuff. Wagner was an entertaining performer but only unintentionally in a stiff way. It is what made his performance of Automan in Automan so entertaining and memorable for me. And it is that stiffness that helps here.

This was certainly a cheap movie which plays into its favor more often than not. Then again this was produced by Yoram Globus and Menahem Golan along with Cannon Films so I would expect nothing less. Or is that more? Our hero and his eventual love Vena (Laurene Landon) meet when both are young and a good look at his frank ‘n beans is more than enough to begin a fire that lasts into adulthood for her. Maybe. When they meet years later it is rather unclear if they recognize each other at all.

This is more a parody of the Reagan Era than it is the post-apocalyptic genre. If you grew up in that time you know a lot of people were saying Ronald Reagan was going to start World War III and the Russians would nuke us. Well America made it through, and the USSR crumbled. My point being it’s a snapshot into the mentality of the times.

The worst part of this is the dialogue. The actors deliver it in an appropriate manner, but with all the future jargon used it becomes a bit indecipherable. This is future jargon imagined by people of the 80s meaning the further you get from the time they made America 3000 the harder what is said can be to follow. I grew up then and some of what was said bordered on a foreign language to me.

Yet by not taking itself too seriously and just being dumb it accomplishes the bare minimum of simply being entertaining. It doesn’t pretend to be a groundbreaking film. It just revels in its randomness. As a commentary on the era-its fears and the feelings of some during it-the film falls short.

America 3000 is a weird Cult Classic that could only have come along in the 80s. It’s stupid cheesy fun and if that’s what you’re in the mood for this is right up your alley.