The Legend of the Lone Ranger

• Directed by William A. Fraker
• May 22, 1981
• Based on characters created by George W. Trendle and Fran Striker

The only surviving Texas Ranger of an ambush arranged by outlaw leader returns to get justice as The Lone Ranger.

The Legend of the Lone Ranger movie is an infamous failure. It didn’t help that they created bad publicity for themselves before the film was even released by forcing Lone Ranger actor Clayton Moore to not wear the famous character’s domino mask. And they compounded matters by making a crack about him in this film. All in a movie that in order to succeed needed to attract the grown children who once were fans of the TV series to not only bring themselves but also their own kids.

But bad press alone is not enough to kill a movie so thoroughly that over 40 years later there appears to be no physical release. From the opening it is rather confusing and weak from the opening. We don’t have much of an idea why the outlaws are chasing young Tonto (Patrick Montoya) nor do we know why they targeted the nearby Reid homestead. Not then or ever. Not even a hint. And it feels like it just breezes through the origin based on some need to have an origin rather than tell a story.

A complete and detailed origin is often unnecessary and sometimes just a drag on the narrative. We get one here if not only how John Reid/The Lone Ranger met Tonto, but why he met up with his brother years later after being sent away. How is he so close to his brother who sent him away minutes after picking him up from Tonto’s tribe? The dude paid the bills for John while he lived with his aunt in Detroit but it sounds like he never visited.

The performances are rough to be kind. But that could have something to do with the voiceover of at the minimum Klinton Spilsbury-the actor playing the Lone Ranger-and at most several other characters. Either that or the audio work is really bad. Performances need to mesh and the performances do not do that often enough.

It’s been decades since I’ve watched anything containing the Lone Ranger so maybe this is something I just forgot but the voice over here by Merle Haggard is another distraction. He’s not even a character in the movie! Why is he providing narration? And why does it need to rhyme? It makes it silly!

Narration can be effective in a movie to set tone or get through things that budget and time do not allow to be shown. But it all too often here it is shorthand to get out of creating ANYTHING. The actors don’t have to actually portray relationships or feelings. The narrator tells us that it is so thus there is no need to build up the bond between Tonto and the Lone Ranger or develop the romance between John and Amy. Even the overall goal of the villain Kavendish played as usual expertly by Christopher Lloyd feels dropped in.

Pacing is abysmal. The story never gets going until the end and even then it is not by much. They toss in some obligatory noise and action along with the William Tell Overture to remind you that the moment you are watching is supposed to be climactic. There is just no building to anything. It’s checking off the events of the story, and then it concludes. And the character of Amy which is supposed to be a love interest for the Lone Ranger is all but forgotten before the closing credits. The relationship isn’t even really a factor in the film. They have a meet cute and it really has no impact on the story. 

Nothing much connects. The attack on the read family homestead doesn’t connect to much of anything. And the attack of the stagecoach is just to begin the relationship of John and Amy which doesn’t do much of anything. The Legend of the Lone Ranger has no spirit to it. Not one of high adventure or of revenge or excitement. 

Ultimately The Legend of the Lone Ranger is just coasting along. The characters are two dimensional and nothing builds. I watched this movie for free and I feel like I should get my money back.