Robin Hood…Arrow, Beans and Karate

• Original title: Storia di arcieri, pugni e occhi neri
• Directed by Tonino Ricci
• April 1976 (Italy)

Robin Hood takes on the evil Baron of Nottingham. I guess the sheriff was on vacation. And this time around one of his Merry Men knows martial arts!

Robin Hood…Arrow, Beans and Karate is quite possibly one of the weirdest riffs on the Robin Hood story I have ever encountered. It’s just goofy and maybe even at times borderline racist and homophobic. I don’t think that was the intention by the Italian culture at the time but that can be the interpretation of certain elements by modern audiences.

Perhaps the most offensive thing is the friar of Moi Kato (Iwao Yoshioka) who knows karate. The English dub alone for the character can be a little uncomfortable. And the general character portrayal doesn’t help either. I’m not sure if they were going for silly or just racist.

The plot while following the generally familiar beats of the Robin Hood narrative comes off as randomly strung together. There is no series of events (poorly) linked to get the viewer to the end. It is like they were jacked up on something and came up with some silliness to fill the intervening moments from the opening credits to the Benny Hill-esque end.

As noted in my plot summary rather than facing off against the Sheriff of Nottingham, Robin Hood (Sergio Ciani as Alan Steel) faces off against the Baron of Nottingham (Eduardo Fajardo) who has usurped the position from the rightful Baron of Nottingham-I think. The random nature of this movie makes it all hard to follow.

The phony Baron of Nottingham certainly looks as if he was intended to be gay. Not overtly gay but I think effeminate. That certainly wouldn’t pass today but in the mid-70s it made it on the screen. And I cannot help but wonder if Robin Hood and the Baron were supposed to be (implied) former lovers. Robin Hood’s efforts felt more like that of an ex trying to screw things up than a man helping the poor.

It doesn’t help that there is no Maid Marian in this. There is a female character named Lady Anne Birdsley (Victoria Abril) who’s tied to a male character but it’s not Robin Hood. So yes, it does look like the Baron is a jilted lover of Robin Hood with Robin raising a big middle finger to his ex and psychologically abusing him. That is if you think a little too deeply about it.

This was taken about as seriously as a game of checkers. Perhaps a little less so. This is goofy and silly. It rolls headfirst into exceedingly bad comedy. The Baron feels like it was ripped from bad sketch comedy a decade prior in the United States. If this were an American production it would be completely unwatchable. Yet by being a dubbed Italian production, it gets into so-bad-it’s-good territory.

Ever roll a tire down a hill? Get to the top of a hill with a tire and then let it go. Watch as it rolls uncontrollably while occasionally bouncing, perhaps knocking things over along the way. That’s kind of how this movie proceeds. Uncontrolled and knocking things over as it rushes to the destination. And you can’t take your eyes off it until the end because you’re curious what will happen next. Will it proceed smoothly? Will it cause a massive amount of damage as it picks up speed? This movie has that same effect. I had the control in my hand to turn it off because it was quite possibly unwatchable, yet I couldn’t do it. 

I caution you against watching Robin Hood…Arrow, Beans and Karate because you will feel terrible and quite possibly ashamed after you are done. But you will enjoy yourself. It’s an unusual novelty but be forewarned.