Death Ship

• Directed by Alvin Rakoff
• March 7, 1980 (Texas and Florida) / April 4, 1980 (Edmonton)

A mysterious freighter rams and sinks a cruise ship whose survivors board the freighter and discover that it is a World War II Nazi vessel.

I can’t say I was surprised by a single thing I saw in Death Ship. They were no shocks or unexpected twists. This early 80s attempt at supernatural horror starring George Kennedy as Captain Ashland and Richard Crenna as Trevor Marshall was pretty much what I thought it would be. And that’s weirdly okay.

It’s just bad in a comforting way. Not so bad it’s good. More like it’s a frozen burrito after a drunken night out which is an example I’ve used many times. It hits the spot but then you feel bad either physically or personally having eaten it though when the experience passes into distant memory and you go out again you’ll probably eat that same type of frozen burrito at the end of it all. 

This movie was done in a day and age when the resolution in film or on television would not show mistakes. And there are a few mistakes that made it into the final cut such as a cameraman that can be seen filming George Kennedy from the side (presumably) for some B roll that I don’t believe ever made it into the film. He’s on screen several times and only noticeable when he adjusts his camera resting on his. Otherwise he blends in with the assorted details on the screen. 

Much like the Cult Classic (and a personal favorite of mine) The Car this is one of those movies with a living machine that is pure evil brought to life by that evil. This anti-Love Boat needs blood to survive. It also needs to corrupt somebody for, well, reasons and that somebody is Captain Ashland (George Kennedy). Ashland holds a grudge against Trevor Marshall (Richard Crenna) because he is getting Ashland’s job since despite massive experience he is a jerk and the cruise line is through with him.

This evil ship was a ship that existed just to torture people because it’s a good idea to dedicate resources during a war for pointless torture. I am not sure about anything beyond that. It was just a Nazi ship roaming the high seas gathering people up and torturing them.

I’ve said before and I’ll say it again: George Kennedy was a fine actor. When he decided to do a paycheck film he took some really crappy stuff which has given him an undeservedly bad reputation. He does well as the bitter Ashland but as the crazed Ashland he is comically bad. His speech in the last pairing with Crenna is unintentionally funny.

The cast of characters are largely interchangeable and quite disposable. They are the most superficial of superficial. They are different enough you can tell them apart, but distinct character traits? Not so much.

This may be unadulterated trash, but it has its moments. The desiccated corpses in the bowels of the ship that are all deceased victims. The freezer full of World War II era pilots. And the bloody shower. An honorable mention goes to the decaying person who eats the spiral mints. Those moments do not make for complex or frightening viewing. The acting of Richard Crenna and George Kennedy with the help of Nick Mancuso as well as the always great Saul Rubinek as Jackie cannot polish a weak script. It does make it watchable.

I found something strangely enjoyable about Death Ship. I think it comes down to it being like so many bad horror movies I could find at random hours on the weekends in my youth. Not very good but somehow it hit the spot. I can’t recommend it for everyone though.