Hard to Kill

• Directed by Bruce Malmuth
• February 9, 1990

A detective that falls into a coma after being shot during a home invasion reawakens seven years later to avenge the death of his wife and expose the man who ordered the murder of his family.

There was a time when Steven Seagal’s star in Hollywood was high and he was associated with good action movies. Nothing of the caliber of Schwarzenegger or Stallone but they were good movies. As a performer he put in effort then and because of that he had good production values behind him. Even his worst were watchable guilty pleasures.

Hard to Kill is one of those better efforts. It came at the tail end of the action film heyday and was pretty much what you would expect from a majority of the releases of the time. Your basic supercop-against-corrupt-city story. Bullets fly liberally and obvious legal issues never occur as our hero dispenses his own brand of justice that would make Dirty Harry think twice.

Steven Seagal is Mason Storm who goes into a coma after being attacked and wakes up  seven or so years later to everybody in his immediate family dead. Mason Storm? Really? So he’s in a coma for seven years and the makeup they use causes him to look a bit like Mick Foley. Seriously. Then again he is awoken by kitten therapy from Kelly LeBrock as nurse Andrea “Andy” Stewart. That’s not a euphemism for something dirty. She places a kitten on his shoulder.

There is a love scene between Steven Seagal and his then wife Kelly LeBrock. Watching it I was uncomfortable. He got grossly handsy. It was gropey and even awkward. My guess is he just did what he did when they were actually going to have sex.

The style of action film Hard to Kill is emulating was a little silly and a little preposterous. Storm wakes from a coma and now has a finish taking down the villain after seven years. And he has absolutely no issues from being bedridden for those seven years. Unsettling (or it should be) is he takes up with Nurse Andy almost right away. I mean without hesitation, but then again it was Kelly LeBrock. The problem is not it’s been seven years ago but from the perspective of Storm it is practically yesterday that his wife died in front of him!

LeBrock’s dialogue isn’t particularly good. I felt as a character she was a late addition to the story. She adds little to the story with much of her stuff coming off as nearly busy work to keep the character on the screen. I can think of any number of action movies where the woman mattered more than Andy.

Despite betraying him for the villain, his fellow squad members are really two dimensional. I cannot recall much about them beyond Branscombe Richmond who plays Detective Max Quentero was in the syndicated series Renegade and he made a brief appearance in Commando. That’s not even a character trait of his in the movie! They are nameless forms with nothing worth mentioning. Either reduce their numbers or give them something memorable even if it’s stock characteristics. I did not even realize they were baddies in the opener!

Action films of the time were known for their one liners. Seagal uses one (that has been uttered since in some of his other productions) “I’m going to take you to the bank Senator. The blood bank.” It’s just comedically bad. I understand it’s meant to sound tough and clearly he thought it did or he wouldn’t reuse it. The quote originated from when seeing the villain Senator Vernon Trent (William Sadler) who is giving far better than this movie deserves. He uses the phrase “You can take that to the bank” in his everyday language, and as a bit of a campaign slogan.

Sadler is not moustache twirling in his villainy. More stern and angry as he plots with lowlifes to trade becoming powerful for whatevs. He is no physical match for Seagal but considering he controls the city he has an edge. Mason’s true pal Lieutenant Kevin O’Malley (Frederick Coffin) that faked Mason’s death and that of his son during his coma leaves the force while leaving the man to his own devices. Mason is totally unwatched in that time leading to the baddies easily learning he still lives and so may STILL be in possession of the incriminating video that they suspect he had taken. That is a MASSIVE oversight.

I felt the climax was a little underwhelming. It was a bit of a given in these movies the hero and villain face-off in an epic showdown where the villain tends to die. At least the guy was seriously injured seriously beat up. It just didn’t have that attempt at epic.

Yet despite its flaws it still entertains. This connects on the nostalgia for this type of action movie. The lack of effects but rather actual stunt performers trashing sets makes for great visceral fun. The absurdity of events presented to the viewer gets past any disbelief by an equally absurd logic embraced by the characters. It all comes together enjoyably with an ethereal magic.

Maybe not original but Hard to Kill is certainly entertaining. It’s a bit of a guilty pleasure but I think you’ll enjoy it.