Victor Crowley

• Written and Directed by Adam Green
• August 27, 2017

Andrew Yong must face off once again against the hatchet wielding Victor Crowley when the plane he is on crashes in the infamous Honey Island Swamp.

This was my introduction to the Hatchet films. I honestly watched this particular movie because Brian Quinn from Impractical Jokers was in it. I had never seen any of the others even though this type of movie is usually up my ally. It looked like a fun gorefest and a throwback to the late 70s and early 80s horror films that existed to make a quick buck off of a few shocks and the heavy use of blood squibs.

Victor Crowley is a little cheap in its presentation, but this is also openly a low-budget film so it’s kind of a given. They do not pretend it to be otherwise. Do not go into this expecting the slickest of production values. A film like this focuses on shock and gore rather than looking pretty and sometimes that is exactly what hits the spot.

The film opens with a couple on a boat in 1964 and they make the obligatory reference to an event of the period to firmly establish the time. Noting that it is 1964 on the screen at the beginning of the scene was more than enough to accomplish that. Why filmmakers do redundant stuff like this is beyond me. If the moment was long then perhaps, but for a short opening sequence it is unnecessary.

In the scene, Del (Jonah Rey) is proposing to his girlfriend and it is done in a comedic fashion. She starts crying tears of joy and well, there is an excessive level of snot coming from her. Then things get creepy after the awkward and nearly disastrous marriage proposal. They hear a weird noise in the distance and go to investigate by calling out. You know that is a death sentence in a horror movie. They encounter a hunter while walking and he is decapitated by Victor Crowley (horror legend Kane Hodder). Then the girlfriend and the boyfriend are both killed with a hatchet because that is the name of the three previous movies.

The bit with Andrew Yong (Parry Shen) on his ex-wife’s talk show felt dated. The days of the sensational talk show are over and even by 2017 they were largely replaced by things more like Donahue and less like Sally Jessie. The scene really is just an excuse to get the ball rolling towards mayhem in the swamp. An announced book signing on the show serves to introduce three aspiring (aspirations abound in this movie) filmmakers: director Chloe (Katie Booth), boyfriend Alex (Chase Williamson), and Rose (Laura Ortiz) who fills the role of level-headed friend and requisite horror movie complaining character.

This is a horror comedy with the characters being two-dimensional caricatures that make all the usual stupid mistakes that get them killed. Idiocy and accidents always move things along in these movies and that is just fine. This is not serious horror after all.

Andrew’s agent Kathleen (horror legend Felissa Rose) panics because of a water snake and runs out of the downed plane and is eventually killed with her arm being ripped off and shoved up her crotch in what counts as one of the more unique horror kills I can recall. Austin (Brian Quinn) pops his head out to see and gets scalped. Stuff like that populates the movie.

The death of Chloe by Victor once she finds the plane was kind of an odd choice for a kill as she seemed to be being built up to be a main character for the film. I just did not get this. While characters do need to be built up to give kills impact there is a point where you need to stop, and Adam Green missed it here.

There is a post credit scene that sets up a sequel which is the norm these days. I really wish movies would just end rather than assume a sequel is coming. It is bothersome if you like the movie and expect more but it bombs.

Poor choices by the director create most of the issues here. For instance, when the filmmakers find the Crowley house and they encounter Crowley after hiding in a shed, he is outside unseen and keeps setting off a motion sensor. It is a good bit that goes on a little bit too long if they were going for a fright or even a chuckle. It wore out its welcome making both mentioned possibilities fall flat, and I just wanted it over by the time the man on the marquee showed. We also have extraneous bits of information revealed for characters whose only reason to be there is to die like Austin’s girlfriend being pregnant. It did nothing for the plot at all nor did it pad out time in an entertaining way.

A flaw with the acting is the actress playing Sabrina (Krystal Joy Brown) looks as if she is aiming for dismissive of her ex-husband but hits clueless in general with her character instead.  Felissa Rose who plays Kathleen has a horror pedigree going all the way back to the original Sleepaway Camp. She should know how to handle herself in this type of movie (and probably does) but never finds a direction for her character. Parry Shen is a bit wooden overall but looks like he is putting the most effort into his work. I am not sure if this is uneven direction or a lack of direction that Shen is be able to overcome.

Directors or actors should never handle too many aspects of a project. “No” is not always a bad word. Sometimes you need people that will question your creative choices. That is an issue here. It looks like there was nobody that could or would make Green step back and look at what he was doing. Too much of what Green wanted got put into the film just how he wanted it. Sometimes it is good to get close or not at all or be forced to make choices on what is really important or what should just go.

Victor Crowley is not a bad movie, but it is not a great movie either. Some uneven directing and poor acting (by genre standards) from the cast weaken what should have been a much stronger movie. If you are looking for an adequate slasher movie this is it. You will not feel you wasted your time though I do not know if it’s something you will go back to repeatedly in your collection or wherever you view it. The main flaw overall is that Adam Green has far too much control over the final product. You will watch it and enjoy but probably will not go back to it anytime soon.