- Also known simply as The Toy Maker
- Directed by Martin Kitrosser
- November 7, 1991
“How dare they! I’m all for the First Amendment but…don’t give me Santa Claus with a gun going to kill someone. The scum who made that movie should be run out of town.”–Mickey Rooney on the first Silent Night, Deadly Night
An old toy maker and his son are unleashing killer toys on children. Irwin Mainway would be proud.
After watching this I was struck by how little story there was in Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker. It stretches things out though not always obviously. I give them points for that, but you are left without an investment in the characters because you know nothing about them by the time the movie is over with the motivation of the true villain coming almost out of the blue.
Mickey Rooney stars as toymaker Joe Peto. The irony of a man who derided the first film in the series starring in the last should not be lost on anyone. It should be noted that this has no involvement of anyone from the first and is more connected to the 4th based just on the character of Kim returning once again played by Neith Hunter with all the electricity she brought to the part originally.
In the opener after a young boy named Derek (William Thorne) witnesses his stepfather’s (Van Quattro) death-by-toy, his mother Sarah (Jane Higginson) does the logical thing and takes him to Joe’s store to get a handmade toy constructed of cheap plastic and packaged in a mass produced box. There we meet Joe’s son Pino Petto (Brian Bremer), who is weird from the start. Sarah talks like she knows Joe quite well but is surprised he has a son. This discovery raises no alarms that her dear friend was a father. You shop there quite regularly and both know personal details about the other but this major fact was unknown? It makes no sense!
Mickey Rooney aside, none of the actors are good enough to service the material. This Christmas horror thriller set in sunny Southern California (probably) is stacked with actors who perform like a failed theater kid. I would take a cold read over most of what we get.
We learn that Sarah cut Derek’s real father Noah Adams (Tracy Fraim) because she did think he was a responsible person and she wanted a career. Not saying she needed to make a life with him, but it is scummy to not even let him know he has a kid. Kudos to Noah for having a brain and figuring it out but shame on him for ending the movie by getting back together with her.
Daddy has been investigating Joe Petto thinking he started sending out sabotaged toys (AGAIN!). Joe went to jail a few years prior for something very similar to what is going on now but the courts allowed him to take up in his old business. You commit certain crimes and are not allowed back in the industry, but I guess it is a different story. Irwin Mainway is getting jealous!
Noah is making cash and spending it on Joe’s toys to find proof of his theory so naturally he is behind on his motel bill. To buy a few extra hours in the motel he’s living in he hands one of those potentially sabotaged toys (which it is) to the owner. Noah is the hero? The guy gave a murderous piece of equipment to somebody just to buy some time. That’s not the action of a good person!
I don’t know if those making this were going for horror comedy or cheesy scary or what, but it is none of those. It’s no macabre humor with a punchline. It’s nothing frightening. There is not much in the way of gore even if it is a little more gross than either of its predecessors. But that’s just by a smidge.
From when to when does this happen? The timeframe is very uncertain. It looks like the opening scene it begins on Christmas Eve but then the dialogue seems to imply Christmas is on its way. Add to that there’s a distinct lack of Christmas throughout the movie and I have no idea when this is occurring.
The make up and prosthetics to accomplish the reveal of Pino as a toy is a distinct homage to older action figures. He is a mix of original G.I. Joe or even a classic Ken doll. It makes sense and is perhaps the funniest aspect of the movie. Not laughable but cute.
The movie feels unconnected. It’s just multiple subplots that do nothing. The one thing I can say is Noah is a casual killer and Sarah is a horrible person. She wanted a career so she cut the biological father out of the picture and shacked up with an abusive man who somehow gave her the freedom to be a career woman at the expense of her only child’s safety and emotional well-being.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker is just crap. The irony of watching Mickey Rooney in a Silent Night, Deadly Night movie is a visceral draw. It’s not scary. It’s not funny and it’s just not much of anything.
Warren Watched A Movie 