Wagons East

• Sometimes styled as Wagons East!
• Directed by Peter Markle
• August 26, 1994

An alcoholic wagon master leads a group of disillusioned settlers in the West back East.

As the last film of the great John Candy, Wagons East is a sad way to cap off a career. Even aided by the able Richard Lewis, John C. McGinley, Robert Picardo, and Western veteran (and stand-up comedienne) Ed Lauter it gets only to mid at best. I understand he passed before production was completed and it shows. Jokes which were clearly meant to be running gags or certain hinted plot developments are dropped indicating he was to be part of the payoff. Candy added comedy cred to the whole thing but did little to elevate what should have been dumped on cable.

There is a running gag that promises some comedic darkness but it looks like they got afraid and kept it as G rated as possible. We see young Billy (Lochlyn Munro) escorting mail-order bride Lindsey Thurlow (Robin McKee) to the Ferguson Ranch where she assumes she is betrothed to one of the brothers. Turns out they all chipped in and are expecting to share much to here horror.

Lindsey and the Fergusons join the wagon train where she is constantly disgusted by them. One after another the Fergusons get killed in funny ways that just don’t get as darkly humorous. This is something where you should find the death funny but feel maybe a little bad laughing at it.  It’s a fine balancing act which when done right makes the joke even funnier. They just don’t do it here. 

This is not a rip-roaring comedy. It’s multiple humorous moments with the very occasional solid laugh. The jokes range from an unexpected twist to the juvenile with much of it being aimed at relatively low hanging fruit. It opens on a promising note with a robbery by a band of outlaws who keep hitting the same bank. Exasperated teller Ben Wheeler (Robert Picardo) advises them to wait a bit longer to let money build up.

Like the title says this is a wagon train moving east rather than West. These are a bunch of settlers who hate it out there and want to go back to a more civilized bit of territory. In a movie like this of course there’s a bunch of desperate oddball characters. Prostitutes and the clearly homosexual comic relief and hillbillies and so much else. These people are unaware that their turn back home has angered investors that fear their trip could start a trend and cost them money. Being the villains of the story they decide the reverse settlers must be stopped.

Though as Julian he is the homosexual comedic relief, John C. McGinley shows why he has had a long career in entertainment. Julian isn’t nearly all punchline. What makes the humor work is that everyone around him is completely oblivious to the obvious. I expected the bathing scene to end with Billy realizing Julian was gay in some funny way but nope which worked better. McGinley as expected must do a scene with Julian as tough to ‘subvert’ expectations and moves smoothly into that.

Candy unfortunately doesn’t get to stretch his chops in comedy or drama as much as he could have or should have as wagon master James Harlow. He is present more as a connecting element for all the humorous threads. The best we get from him is an underdeveloped romantic subplot with town prostitute Belle (Ellen Greene).

There is a continuing mystery over why Harlow may be infamous based on a vague recollection by town hillbilly Zeke (William Sanderson). The payoff of it involving the Donner Party never quite goes beyond a statement possibly because of Candy’s passing. He is shamed from the group briefly where you are left feeling scenes are missing. No dark jokes. Just on to the next page of the script.

This movie failed at the box office and having watched it now I can see why. There is nothing that makes it special enough for a theatrical experience. I think if this had been released on cable it would’ve been a moderately well regarded cable film. But competing against any number of theatrical releases of the time it was nothing really funny or exciting or just special.

It is not without its moments or humor but it is all weak. It needed slapstick or general zaniness or just to be shelved. The passing of an actor most of the way through production is a tough if not impossible obstacle to overcome. In a comedy if reality is ignored in favor of a good joke it should be easier but they did not take that approach here.

I can’t call Wagons East a complete waste of time. It’s enjoyable and you’ll find it entertaining enough to put a smile on your face. It is just not too worth looking for.