Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

• Directed by Michael Bay
• June 8, 2009 (Tokyo) / June 24, 2009 (US)
• Based on Hasbro’s Transformers toy line

Two years after the events of the last film, Sam begins having visions of strange symbols and is hunted by the Decepticons under the orders of their true leader the mysterious Fallen.

Michael Bay was equally the very best and very worst director for the Transformers films. While they made a fortune for both Paramount and Hasbro, they were not quality films yet maintain to this day a level of rewatchability and memorability that is usually the domain of at the minimum well done B movies. These are the Schrodinger’s Cat of film-both good and bad until observed.

Maybe it is that Bay can really polish up poor material. Maybe it is because Bay thrives in schlock and knows just how to handle it. With a script written by Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, and Alex Kurtzman this certainly was not complex or well done yet Bay made it quite enjoyable somehow.

Two years after the last movie the Autobots work for N.E.S.T. (Non-biological Extraterrestrial Species Treaty). Near as I can recall, what it stands for is never explained in the movie. My knowledge here came from online sources. N.E.S.T. is top-secret and apparently multinational organization to execute each and every Deception that they come across hiding on planet Earth. Execute. Not capture. How enlightened.

Originally Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) was robot space dad and shooting an incapacitated enemy would be beyond him, but now just because he’s a good guy and the other is the bad guys it’s okay? How does that make him any better than Megatron (Hugo Weaving) or the other the bad guys? That occurs in the scene that introduces the concept of N.E.S.T. and is an element proceeding throughout.

Shia LaBeouf returns to the part of Sam and spends much of his time like he did in the last movie screaming “Optimus!” or “Bumblebee!” and not doing too much to advance the story itself. The story kicks off when Spike finds out there has been a random piece of the Cosmic Cube on him for the past two years. It just falls out of a pocket, through the floor, and proceeds to turn random appliances into Decepticons. Why does this thing always create evil robots? And how does this thing for two years stay on Spike and not affect a single machine in that house until now? Movie plot that’s why.

The TRUE villain of the movie is the Fallen (Tony Todd) who is an evil Prime that looks a great deal like a Bionicle figure. In fact all the Transformers/Primes we see in the past have that look. Lego might want some compensation for that.

Megatron becomes a bit of a bitch in Revenge of the Fallen since he serves the Fallen and nobody knows it. This seems like a massive bit of intelligence that the Autobots are completely unaware of despite fighting in an eons long war with the Decepticons. I would think that they would know about the existence of at least the true leader of the Decepticons, but they know squat.

Once again The Transformers are supporting characters in their own movie. Is it that hard to make them the main players? Why all this focus on human beings? And human beings that are comedic and goofy. I don’t need something complex and sophisticated. I just need the title characters to be the main characters. 

The big draw for me in this was the appearance of Devastator. He was the first combiner seen in the show and quite possibly the best. To see a live action version of him (as live action as CGI can get) on the big screen was a dream come true. Or should have been. A big bad threat gets their butt handed to them by one of the comedy twin robots. A potentially impressive character turned into absolutely nothing. Then again why build up supporting characters all that much?

You can get motion sickness from watching a Michael Bay Transformers movie because of the spinning either of the camera or of the characters. Or both! Count on both happening at least once per action scene. Blenders do less spinning than anything in this.

The special effects are absolutely amazing here. 15+ years after it came out and they still look great. But great special FX does not make a great movie. This movie is enjoyable trash. It genuinely is. It has no redeeming qualities to it, but it grabs ahold of you and makes you watch much like Jerry Springer or Maury Povich or even Steve Wilkos. You can’t look away when you start watching. 

The plot itself is pretty thin. There is a ton of fluff between the beginning and the end of the movie that really doesn’t do too much for the narrative. And if you take too long to think about something you’ll realize that it makes absolutely no sense in relation to the fictional world they created. Yet it’s watchable. You won’t feel ashamed for viewing it and you will go back and check it out again. 

If you’re looking for something intelligent or substantive Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is not it. If you are looking for some mindless action where you can leave your brain at the door then this certainly IS it. I can definitely recommend this to adults who were fans of the animated cartoon as kids. But the general moviegoer should probably move on.