The Calamity That Is ‘Calamity Jane’s Revenge’

• Directed by Henrique Couto
• September 25, 2015 (US)

Calamity Jane takes revenge on the men who killed her husband. Only the viewers truly get punished.

Sometimes you need to ask yourself what people were thinking. Like here with Calamity Jane’s Revenge. There appears to have been a passable script underneath it all but between the lack of a discernable budget and universally poor acting it becomes a bit of crime against cinema. I am not sure if I can do just how bad this is justice, but I will try.

Feeling a particular character’s motives are authentic is an issue. While the story is all about Calamity Jane (Erin R. Ryan) seeking revenge, you never feel like she really cares. The characters say she is angry so she must be angry, but her emotions never get above irritated. It equates to being upset somebody else got the last piece of bacon at the complementary breakfast buffet and not getting justice for the murder of your husband.

Doing a bit of Googling I learned that Erin R. Ryan spends most of her time doing independent horror films so maybe she decided to stretch her legs in a different genre. I am guessing though by her work here she is not that good in those either. Her performance is wooden and by the numbers. Her rage is that of the pretty girl not getting her way with her boyfriend and not of deep emotion.

Then again nobody here really shines in comparison to anybody else. Acting classes are warranted for all. Nobody in Calamity Jane’s Revenge is capable of starring in a local TV advertisement let alone a no budget film. They should not even be extras. The more I think about it, the more I come to believe this was just some friends getting together and having fun. I hope so anyway. Otherwise there is a large group of very deluded people out there.

Something you will notice about Calamity Jane’s Revenge is that per dialogue a great deal of distance gets covered but the scenery changes very little. I think more often than not they simply changed camera angles a smidge before starting the next scene. It looks like it was filmed in a very small section of a state park. At least move to the other side to spice things up.

I did not expect great costuming in this nor does it or any film need it. You just need it good enough to get your mind into whatever world you are being presented with. What we get is fresh and clean clothing worn by all that looks just purchased from the nearest Country Western store. Plaid shirts and Stetsons alone do not a Western make.

This may be a bit nitpicking, but the belt loop was not something present in the old West. Relatively speaking it’s a new addition to clothing having appeared in the 1920s I think but everybody had belt loops in the movie. I could certainly forgive them if they took the time out to try and hide them but that never happened. Or maybe just pop them off! Try a bit.

What action we get in this movie is better choreographed than I would expect given the overall production values. It’s edited that it’s mildly entertaining but not nearly exciting enough. Editor Eric Widing got close but not close enough. Shaking a few frames off here and there would have improved the relatively static shots.

The thing is beneath it all I can see a worthwhile script. Not a great script but certainly something with a little bit of polish and some more money behind it could have been better than what we ultimately got. There are some great one-liners that in the hands of better individuals could’ve been delivered quite effectively. This is not a movie that just meanders around until it’s time to roll the credits but rather a story where elements cohesively build towards the finale. The ending under the right hands and with some adequate funds could’ve been a good ending. But like the acting, it falls flat.

Calamity Jane’s Revenge could’ve been something better. The fault is that they just did not have the resources or production talent to make it better. It is a tough slog everybody should avoid.