It’s Better Than Crystal Skull

• Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
• Directed by James Mangold
• May 18, 2023 (Cannes) / June 30, 2023 (US)
• Based on characters created by George Lucas and Philip Kaufman

Indiana Jones and his estranged goddaughter try to locate a powerful artifact before a Nazi-turned-NASA scientist uses it to alter the outcome of World War II.

After Crystal Skull my hopes when this was announced were not high. I had very low expectations of quality so for me there was nowhere to go but up. Just possibly in fresh hands this new film called Dial of Destiny could recapture some of that old Indy magic that made the original trilogy so very good. Possibly…

The opening certainly feels like an old-school Indiana Jones movie. The last half of one anyway where Indy (Harrison Ford) finally stops the evil plot and you have had a good time with a larger-than-life character. There is the fun adventure vibe in the opening segment much like that of the movie serials which inspired the first movie. Aside from the occasional dodgy bit of de-aging in those scenes that part of the presentation largely holds up.

There are the narrow escapes and comical, yet thrilling bits of action and it all has Nazis which are the villains Indy works best facing off against. These are desperate Nazis in the closing moments of World War II which really ups the tension.

Dial of Destiny often loses the spirit of the adventure serial with its heavy use of CGI to accomplish things. After all these movies were born in the days before computer effects. Plus there’s something so much more exciting about stunts and action scenes happening in reality and not created by some geek in an office in Los Angeles. Sadly these instances of heavy CGI are not limited to recreating the French Alps of 1944. It is used to recreate large swathes of the era and locations this movie occurs in.

I understand such things like the Siege of Syracuse in 212 BC are best done with CGI but you cannot find someplace that passes for NYC in 1969? And they do a fairly wide shot that looks really fake. Do they even have location scouts for movies anymore? The parade and protest could have been skipped being shown and still had a thrilling chase through a city that felt more real. Maybe shoot at night outside rather than on a soundstage in front of greenscreen using a night filter to get that feel of night in the French Alps. There isn’t a castle you can find? With a multimillion-dollar budget your crew cannot afford a few days on location?

The big MacGuffin that everybody is after is referred to as Archimedes’ Dial which appears to be inspired by the Antikythera mechanism-a device that has never had supernatural or sci-fi aspects attributed to it. It is however among the first if not the first analogue computer. Nothing more. The previous objects used in this series at least had otherworldly aspects attributed to them that could be expanded upon.

If they kept the story in the 40s or so and used the Lance of Longinus/Spear of Destiny which propels the opening it would’ve fit in nicely with Nazi ideology and provided something a little more solid to build on. The titular device just happens to be there. And that is on top of the Dial of Destiny being framed as a previously unmentioned major obsession for Indy. It becomes the previously unspoken of/unseen important relative of objects.

And then we cut to Indy as a sad sack living in a shitty apartment as a pathetic professor working at Hunter College. It is a far cry from the hero that we knew. We are introduced to the character as a crotchety old man complaining about his neighbor’s noise bothering him in his cramped quarters. He’s not a popular professor or a swashbuckling hero anymore but a has-been looking at the end and bitter that his better days are over. A far cry from the man who held the attention of everyone. What’s with destroying our heroes? Indiana Jones is a cinematic adventure icon and one of the great characters of film history. Life doesn’t have to be perfect but why is he pathetic?

It’s because of stuff like that I really wanted them to recast the character of Dr. Henry ‘Indiana’ Jones, Jr. and go back to the character’s roots. Maybe give us the movie we got in the opener and not the one with the geriatric Indiana Jones that is in no shape to really engage in an action scene. James Bond films have gone on for 60 years with new actor after new actor. I’m pretty sure you could do the same for Indiana Jones. Maybe not the same level of film output but certainly multiple films. 

Phoebe Waller-Bridge plays Indiana Jones’s goddaughter Helena Shaw who regularly upstages him throughout this entire movie. Previously Indiana Jones understood the situation and was able to find a way to take advantage of it but he’s just being dragged along chasing after the device with Helena often moving things to the next leg of the journey. Worse Waller Bridge is quite possibly the least charismatic female lead they could find. She comes off as smug rather than charming. She is his better because he is weaker.

Previously our supposed lead of this movie was on an equal footing with his female costars. Each complimented the other by bringing things the other did not possess. Either skills or an aspect of their personality that enhanced the story.

It feels like Helena is being built up as a main character at the expense of Indy. She regularly upstages our title character and propels much more of the story and action than Dr. Jones does. Ford as an actor is often just gawking or looking stunned as he is tossed around while Waller-Bridge does more to deal with the assorted threats but only to benefit her character of Helena. Indy did engage in mild comedy while fighting but he fought. Another indication that Ford is too old for this s**t.

There is no real chemistry between our lead and her sidekick. Worse Helena looks down on her nose at Jones. There’s a clear level of disdain for him. Goddaughter or not I’m not sure why Indy doesn’t screw her over quickly at the first chance he gets given she either abandoned him, stole from him, or left him in a possibly lethal situation. How cucked do you have to be to take that garbage from anybody?

Characterization is not that great here. Motivations are poorly explained and some of those causing issues or just helping Indy are rather forgettable. No point in listing most of the actors involved or their parts as they make no impact which makes the cast a bit bloated. Other than Mads Mikkelsen that is.

Mads Mikkelsen is the evil Jürgen Voller, a German scientist and former Nazi working for the CIA under the name Dr. Schmidt but who firmly has his own agenda. His plan is to travel back in time to 1939 and take over the Third Reich. Was that his plan in ’44 since he clearly wanted in then? How exactly does a lowly scientist get into a position where he can assume leadership of a nation or a military? Even in this fictional world it doesn’t make sense because we get no explanation.

The titular Dial of Destiny. When it finally does get used we learn it was all a plan by Archimedes (Nasser Memarzia) to get help for the Siege of Syracuse in 212 BC. A crashing airplane and a machine gun were all that was needed to turn the tide. Archimedes figures out how to build his device which detects fissures in time after seeing the completed device in Indy’s hands. That completely negates where the knowledge to conceive of the device came from. There is no starting point. 

And rather than ending here in a lesson with Indy realizing that living in the past where he wants to stay with Archimedes for reasons he instead gets punched by Helena and dragged back to the future. No growth. He just becomes happy that Marion (Karen Allen) has decided to return to his life because he’s back. Huh? What exactly signaled him being back in this narrative? 

Having said and complained about all that this is not as bad as Crystal Skull but as a last hurrah for the character of Indiana Jones, you’ll do far better watching the first three movies with Last Crusade being a better cap on the character’s story than this. As a last outing Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny leaves a great deal to be desired. It opens strong and quickly goes weak. While better than Crystal Skull it ranks nowhere near the first three films. I give this an if you want but a very middling if you want.