The Asian Connection

• Directed by Daniel Zirilli
• May 13, 2016

Two expatriates living in Thailand while robbing banks in Cambodia steal a drug lord’s money. Sounds nonsensical.

This movie would never have seen the light of day if it were not because of Steven Seagal. As it is, being done by a questionable studio with an obviously bad script and/or incapable director makes The Asian Connection appear to be part of some scheme rather than an attempt at a money-making entertainment venture.

Opening with narration is fine, but you need somebody you can sell it and actress Pim Bubear as the film’s eye candy Avalon has no ability to sell the narration, her character, or that she is a human being and not an advanced automaton. Her acting consists largely of raising or lowering the monotone delivery of her lines with all the expression of a marble statue and the inflection of a seriously disinterested child.

At a little over 92 minutes what becomes apparent is that much of that run time is accomplished by extended establishing shots. How long is necessary to show a bank? Or that a person is walking? Or driving?

Avalon may be eye candy but the main drivers of action are John Edward Lee as Jack Elwell and Byron Gibson as Sam who rob banks with all the thought of a kid picking out a favorite stuffed animal. Thing is Jack shows her stolen money and jewels and tells her to keep quiet and they cannot spend anything like he knows there is a problem before the plot reveals there is a problem to him.

Jack’s hair is distractingly spikey. It may have been barely cool in high school but now it has the of a man desperately clinging to the glory days of his past. Avalon is way too good looking for him implying she likes a dangerous man that showers her with gifts but he is neither.

You may ask: why is there a problem? Turns out they robbed the specific cash of the dangerous Gan Sirankiri (Steven Seagal). How did they (and continue to) take just his money? If this bank was physically holding the money (assuming it is not all Cambodian notes) until it could be moved, then these robbers are idiots for not understanding something is up. If it is all Cambodian money I do not this cash is physically isolated from other cash.

Our story is about a guy and his partner hitting poorly secured Cambodian banks that hide a drug lord’s money. Or he’s some kind of criminal. Jack is blackmailed by Sirankiri’s lacking lacky Niran (Sahajak Boonthanakit) into robbing more banks of the Big Guy’s money in exchange for a cut in some of the most low excitement heists in this amateurish movie. Tom Sizemore was very talented sober but off the wagon not so much. I am guessing he was not sober while conceiving this.

The Asian Connection may have been an attempt at some tragic Bonnie and Clyde. There’s stuff here that just doesn’t pass the intelligence test. There’s also a lack of definition of the characters. Quirks aplenty but quirks do not create a personality.

Michael Jai White makes a cameo in this as Greedy Greg who in the past hired Jack to some gun running. Literally. Not entire guns. Just parts of them. Huh? Why in pieces? Then again there is that whole bank thing. It is to give Jack a source for a gun like just showing up with one would be one plot hole too many,

Call this a Steven Seagal movie would be generous. He’s not the center of the action or a main driver of events. If his character was missing completely this movie would drop closer to an hour than the 92 minutes it is. Some of his stuff has no connection to ANY story.

For the head of a criminal organization, even if it is a small one, he’s very hands-on. It’s not just a scene or moment to demonstrate the character is going to get his hands dirty. He’s leading the charge just about every time. Conversely, he got his traitorous flunky to try to solve a problem the flunky is involved with. He is conveniently disconnected to keep things moving.

The acting is questionable at a good moment Michael Jai White aside. He’s the only one who gives it his all. Everybody else, even Seagal, just kind of phones it in. Some of the background actors who never get a line but get noticeably on screen look like they have no idea what’s going on. Eyes can say a lot and here say “What is this nonsense?” I am nearly convinced the bank heists are filmed in the same building. I think there’s more than one bank design available to people in Cambodia. Admittedly, this is a low budget film, but sometimes you gotta dress things up a little bit.

Though the idea has been done a multitude of times, here it feels seriously derivative in a way those others did not. A criminal couple gets in over their heads. Criminal partners getting over their heads. Take your pick, but it shouldn’t feel so lazy and lackluster. And now that I write this, I have no idea what the Asian connection is. Other than occurring in Cambodia, how does the title fit the film?

The Asian Connection is another mess with the greasy fingerprints of Steven Seagal all over it. Clumsy, amateurish and lazy with acting that creates boredom.