X-Men: The Last Stand

• Also marketed as X3: The Last Stand or X-Men 3
• Directed by Brett Ratner
• May 24, 2006 (Cannes) / May 26, 2006 (US)
• Based on X-Men created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby

Jean Grey returns from the dead as the US government unveils a ‘cure’ for mutants.

One thing that X-Men: The Last Stand proves is that directors are not always interchangeable. Sometimes you need to search for a replacement instead of hiring whoever comes along. Bryan Singer had gone off to do Superman Returns with the reins handed over (eventually) to Brett Ratner. Even though the writers from the last movie returned, here it’s clear that Singer took what they wrote and made it into something a little more special.

That’s not to say this is a complete waste of time but it’s significantly less than the first two films. It lacks an authentic emotional core or heart that help to make things much more identifiable. Human or real-world elements that allow you to empathize with the characters are used superficially. Think of them as spacers between the action scenes.

Ratner pushes through the substantive material like Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and Magneto (Ian McKellen) meeting a young Jean Grey or Warren Worthington III/Angel (Ben Foster) running from the ‘cure’ his father’s company produces. He puts in real effort and care with staging action sequences man of which rely on obvious green screen or CGI of varying quality. Some shots appear closer to high-end Teams filters than something worthy of film with actors’ performances composited into environmental shots.

The main thrust of the story is the aforementioned ‘cure’ for mutants. As a general rule one can see most mutants would not need to be cured. But someone like Rogue (Anna Paquin) whose touch can be fatal thus preventing physical contact? Storm (Halle Berry) takes the blanket stance that it is always bad and it never gets challenged. For a concept where something stands in for something else, this is a real missed opportunity. With ideas in reality of deaf culture or blind culture or disabled culture, why not engage in some discussion? Rogue could actually kiss her boyfriend.

X-Men: The Last Stand draws inspiration from a few storylines with Dark Phoenix being the most obvious though only in ‘Evil Jean.’ Her form is not highjacked by a space entity but is the result of unstable powers. Look! Another person who could benefit. She gets a serious upgrade in strength though Famke Janssen largely utters some menacing dialogue or looks like she is about to release an angry scream.

James Marsden returns as Cyclops though mostly to mope and pine away for his presumed dead love. His major scene involves going to where she died to see her come back before he gets killed for no reason that connects to the plot I can think of. It did free him up for Superman Returns. Did she rip his body apart? Drain the life. What?

Vinnie Jones is Cain Marko, better known as Juggernaut, who is the stepbrother of Professor X though that is completely gone. There is the implication he is a mutant unlike in the comics where his powers are magic derived. Heck, the helmet their protects against telepathy but he takes it off because everybody decided screw anything similar to the lore. Jones is entertaining but he is one in a long line of added characters just to be added. Some when added are better than others.

It’s quite the grab bag in making it an abrupt expansion of the of comic book characters into the X-Men universe. Callisto (Dania Ramirez) shows as a mutant tracker but slings out phrases like ‘Class 5’ as if she has a meter in her body rather than something closer to sensing the strong from the weak. She sounds more technical than Dr. Kavita Rao (Shohreh Aghdashloo).

Rather than mere allusions to the character, Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page) finally hits the screen as essentially a homewrecker for the romance between Rogue and Bobby. The whole plot stretches the film out as it barely connects to the main story. It has much in common with a teen drama because Bobby never gets shown as a jerk for stringing along two women until he makes a decision because he can finally touch Plan A without extra steps.

Kitty Pryde has been better linked with Nightcrawler or Colossus. The later is actually in this movie though now that I think about it I am not sure if he has a Russian accent. Why did they skip that? Kelsey Grammer was perfect casting as Dr. Henry ‘Hank’ McCoy/Beast. Grammer with his voice and general performance was everything he would want in an actor who portrayed Beast.

While I like the introduction of the Danger Room finally, all Ratner did was mildly re-dress what was done in the climax. The Sentinel was a nice touch, but it just served to largely differentiate it from the cars flying and the explosions flying in the end as opposed to the cars flying and the explosions flying in that sequence.

Despite being an ensemble piece where the characters should all get a little play, this is largely a Wolverine vehicle. Admittedly Wolverine and Hugh Jackman were at a high in their general popularity but there is no attempt at balancing out the important characters. In the comics Storm goes through periods of being the leader of one of the teams of the X-Men. That certainly is the expressed desire Professor X here yet Wolverine often gives directions and commands and comes up with strategy. Why even bring it up?

Patrick Stewart, having turned in some pretty good performances in the first two, is mostly just, well, there. A few fatherly lines but does little to provide a philosophical contrast to Magneto. It really comes down to Professor X good/Magneto bad. That goes hand-in-hand with Ian McKellen being much more of just evil than a guy whose motives are in the right place, but his actions are quite wrong. He gave his weight to each and every line and elevates the mid-tier material that permeates much of this film.

The dispositions of assorted characters are decidedly underwhelming. Two previous films of great good or great evil (depending on the team) and it is just a bit of a shrug. Scott’s death? Meh. Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) becoming human? Okay. No shock or surprise. I think we all knew not only what would happen to Charles but what his out would be when it came to the screen. When Moira MacTaggert (Olivia Williams) offers up the idea of body hopping any comics reader knows how Chuck could make it back for another movie. I think even the uninformed would figure it out. Less ham-fistedly in line with the comics is the reveal of Magneto at the end in the park making the metal chess piece shake.

Magneto’s assault on Alcatraz, which is a medical facility now for some random reason makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is him acting like a generic terrorist leader by flinging out a demand video. It was a completely unnecessary action in terms of the story. By that point the X-Men and everyone else on the planet could probably assume he would attack Alcatraz.

X-Men: The Last Stand is great on action but short on substance. It’s okay but not as strong as the first two.