Masters of the Universe

• Stylized as Masters of the Universe: The Motion Picture
• Directed by Gary Goddard
• August 7, 1987
• Based on the Masters of the Universe franchise by Mattel

“Tell me about the loneliness of good, He-Man. Is it equal to the loneliness of evil?”–Skeletor

A trio of heroes travel to Earth to stop an evil sorcerer from getting the Cosmic Key which will allow him to take over their home planet and the entire universe.

In an era known for its dark fantasy, a kid-friendly film like Masters of the Universe certainly stood out. As a He-Man movie it kind of falls a little short yet it still is not without its charms. To be clear, I am not calling this great. It is more like a frozen burrito that is not very good yet still manages to hit the spot each time.

I admit to a bit of a love-hate relationship with this film. I hate it for everything it is not which is it not being closer to the MOTU animated mythos, but I love it pretty much for that very same thing. As a whole it is a fun adventure film that does not take itself too seriously. It is not meant to be deep or edgy but to get kids to come and watch while presenting nothing that would make the accompanying parents uncomfortable. 

I must give a shout out to the exterior design of Castle Grayskull by William Stout. Maybe not accurate to the toy line or the visuals of the show but for me it manages to evoke Castle Grayskull and it is a cool looking design for the building. One of the highlights of a movie that otherwise takes place largely on Earth in sunny Southern California which as everyone knows is ALWAYS a cost saving measure.

Physically Dolph Lundgren was not a bad choice for the heroic He-Man. His physique and general look was at the time acceptable and was a marquee name having been the baddie of Rocky IV. Even the lack of the character’s Prince Adam alter ego is not an issue. It is that this ‘most powerful man in the universe’ carries a gun, lacks the famous chest emblem, and has a cape making his appearance like so many generic fantasy movies of the ‘80s.

Meg Foster with the most amazing eyes in showbiz as Evil-Lyn is her usual sinister self. That condescending delivery mixed with a deep voice creates a character that’s distinct yet similar to the Evil-Lyn audiences were largely familiar with at the time. Foster performs the character well. Then again Foster was a great genre actor of the time.

Skeletor aside, Beastman (Tony Carroll) and the reptilian Saurod (Pons Maar) are costuming and character design standouts. The rest though, especially for Teela (Chelsea Field), is rather generic. I do not need the white bikini thing she had going on in the cartoon, but something a little more that denoted something special or visually hinted at a connection with her father Man-At-Arms (Jon Cypher). It is a relationship that never feels paternal or anything beyond battle buddies yet in the broader context is almost foundational to so much in MOTU.

I think I would’ve tolerated the Orko replacement Gwildor (Billy Barty) if he had been dressed closer to Orko. The famous bumbling magician was not featured here due to the complexities of the character. Barty was a fine actor, but the part often devolved into bad humor with the character barely connecting to the main story. Once the quest for the device began, he did little other than offering up humor that mocked the character and undercut the story.

Frank Langella delivers epic villainy in a movie that did not deserve it. Reportedly he looks fondly upon his time in Masters of the Universe. His Skeletor is maniacal in a fun way owed to Langella enjoying himself as he chews the scenery. No silliness but massive evil ego. He is big and bold and grandiose, yet He-Man does not get enough time to match that. Unlike Langella, Lundgren cannot bring an equally heroic nature to his character instantly.

What would an MOTU movie without He-Man uttering “I have the power!” I just do not know what power he has. What makes him equal to Skeletor? Or even to be feared by the Master of Evil? He-Man does not appear stronger than most which is generally what He-Man is. One or two feats of impressive strength are all this needed to communicate that power.

What would a movie set on Earth be without some spunky kids helping out the heroes? Robert Duncan McNeill and Courteney Cox play Kevin Corrigan and Julie Winston respectively. During an opening battle, the Cosmic Key opens a doorway to Earth and is separated from the MOTU characters. Kevin and Julie just before finding it are at the graves of her parents who died in a plane crash because she ditched them for better plans. Seriously.

During this scene she is (justifiably) blaming herself for their deaths. As the pair walks away they stumble across the Cosmic Key that Kevin mistakes for a new, cutting-edge Japanese music synthesizer because such things are ALWAYS found in shallow holes in cemeteries. His musical abilities are important because the Key keeps playing a song that when played back gets everybody home. Because of this a music store is a major setting of the movie. The movie keeps swinging back to that place.

The late, great James Tolkan as local police Det. Lubic lends his patented ‘80s authority to be a source of difficulty. All loud and blustery yet never really a bad guy. He just does not believe those pesky kids. It was a patented performance that works.

Call me nitpicky but Julie’s happy ending bothers me. Not only is there no impact on the timeline but Gwildor who barely knows her knew enough to send her back to the correct moment in her life. If it was magic I might be more forgiving, but it was tech. Anywho…

Masters of the Universe may not be epic or even high quality but there’s just something about it that connects with me. Always has. That’s the best way I can put it. No messages, but rather a simple good versus evil story with a performance by Frank Lanngela that helps to make the movie better than it deserves.