Hot Lead and Cold Feet

• Originally titled Welcome to Bloodshy
• Directed by Robert Butler
• July 5, 1978

Twin brothers compete for possession of dusty cow town started by their father while the crooked mayor tries to end the pair so he can take control himself.

I watched Hot Lead and Cold Feet because by all indications it was a Don Knotts movie. With memories of The Shakiest Gun in the West and The Apple Dumpling Gang my hopes were high. Sadly that was not to be. It is instead a starring vehicle for Jim Dale who takes on THREE roles with Knotts as well as the very talented Jack Elam added in for color or talent cred.

Don Knotts and Jack Elam are two of the better-known names yet do little to contribute to the main story. They have their own little thing going on that stretches this movie out. It is a comedic set of vignettes with Elam as Rattlesnake all snarls and growls with Knotts as Sheriff Denver Kid doing his best proto-Mr. Furley. Neither really matter.

The true star, Jim Dale, plays town founder Jasper Bloodshy, his outlaw son Wild Billy Bloodshy, and his very British-yet-Philadelphia-living Eli Bloodshy. To Dale’s credit each is separate from the other in portrayal. Jasper is the hardest to link to Dale with an addition of very effect makeup. As Wild Billy his outlaw voice is a bit rough but still he stands apart. I credit the actor doing something with three that many cannot do with two which is keep each action and line distinct to the character.

Being that this involves one actor in three parts, occasionally the tried-and-true split screen for the same actor speaking to themselves in one scene is employed here and doesn’t stand out. Occasionally a rear projection shot for an action sequence is used for more dynamic interaction.

The story centers around a contest by the twin brothers that never met because dad randomly separated them at birth. Why? No idea. It is a race to win dad’s fortune and town after he faked his death for reasons. That is if they can survive the random bits of sabotage by the corrupt Mayor Ragsdale (Darren McGavin) whose goal is to control the town as executor of the estate.

His efforts are a series of failed attempts by the expected marginally competent hench persons who bungle even the most basics of tasks in a predictable way. That mixed with Eli always failing upward when Wild Billy tries never works. Jasper is always in the background trying to make things turn out okay. Never far from the action or angst locals, nobody ever exclaims “Jasper lives!” Did nobody pay attention to this guy when he lived in town? He is fabulously wealthy AND the guy who created the place they live. This humor never works.

Unlike Elam or Knotts, Darren McGavin as Ragsdale matters to the story. He is the true villain of the narrative and tries to set things up so both lose and he gets control of the money. Fine. That works but why waste talents like Elam or Knotts? He has flunkies so why not use the other two bigger names of the time as his flunkies? Knotts is marginally under his employ to do bad stuff but that stops quickly.

The movie works best as family fare when we are watching the competition vignettes between the brothers. It is nothing comedically great but does entertain though the side bits director Robert Butler interjects of Jasper and his servant Mansfield (John Williams) break any building pace or stride.

What is ANY Western without a little romance? Eli and his young wards meet teacher Jenny Willingham (Karen Valentine) who is all support to Eli and future mom to the kids. Unlike other Westerns, she never receives a strong scene to show her ability to wrangle unruly children. Then again Eli’s foster kids Roxanne and Marcus (Debbie Lytton and Michael Sharrett respectively) are very well behaved. Not rambunctious or precocious. They serve largely as useless commentators akin to a Greek chorus. The movie would have been better served without either the kids or the teacher.

The biggest sin is that it is boring. It never gets to forgettable yet entertaining or entertaining yet forgettable. It plays it so safe. It wastes great talent on a silly idea handled with not even era appropriate sitcom skill. There is an attempt to not only land on some message but in a bit of hubris set up for a gender switch sequel with the idea alone painting Jasper as a deadbeat dad.

Mistaken identity jokes are not bad. They are predictable yet silly given the nature of the brothers in the plot. Unfortunately they go away too quickly. The replacement humor feels so lazy and unoriginal even in a very by-the-numbers Disney movie for the time. It doesn’t help with the bait and switch they did.

I was hoping to like Hot Lead and Cold Feat. I expected a Don Knotts film elevated by his rubbery face and comedic skills. Instead I got a Jim Dale movie and still have no idea who Jim Dale is. Skip.