The Ultimate Weapon

• Directed by Jon Cassar
• June 28, 1999 (Canada) / July 4, 2000 (US)

A military contractor runs afoul of the IRA and must protect his family when they come for revenge.

Hulk Hogan tried his best to be a movie star of some caliber. Keeping with his public persona, his films tended to be something that would be acceptable to the whole family. That makes The Ultimate Weapon a bit of an anomaly for Terry Gene Bollea of Augusta, Georgia. It is much seedier and more violent than No Holds Barred or Santa with Muscles would ever attempt.

What hooked me was his hair and scaled back moustache. That sounds strange but for me it was a very striking change from his more recognizable look. If that’s not a wig, I don’t know what it is. It is much more military than his usual style. It goes in tandem with the not-Hulk Hogan performance. There may be one or two ‘brothers’ thrown in there, but this is not the Hulkster thriving on Hulkamania. This is a man giving an understated performance in contrast to the high energy man that tells kids to take their vitamins and is a true American patriot. He does his best to be dramatic and serious with even the quippy or lighter moments not treated too humorously. He does his best to be a mildly burnt-out soldier of fortune trying to make up for the neglect and mistakes of his past.

While he does look a bit like Schwarzenegger (I have heard others compare him to Dolph Lundgren), the film eschews the more superhuman aspects of the heyday of his (or Hogan’s) career to keep the action a bit more though not entirely grounded. Big explosions and oversized guns take the place of beating up or killing dozens of attackers.

Though taking place in Serbia and the Eastern US, The Ultimate Weapon was filmed in Quebec. Locations used frequently appeared in any number of examples of first-run bits of syndication or cable programs. So much of this was familiar to me from Stargate: SG1 alone that I expected Apophis to pop by. This is a very low-budget film that manages to mildly satisfy a craving you might have for an action film. It’s not particularly original or creative but it goes through the motions well enough that you’re not feeling you wasted your time here.

Hogan plays recently retired mercenary Ben ‘Hardball’ Cutter who, after his last mission turned out to be a way to get thousands of arms for the IRA, decides to give up the business and reconnect with his daughter Mary Kate (Cynthia Preston) whom he hasn’t really bothered with for the first 20 years of her life. Zero expectations of being rejected.

In the opening action that not only sets up the villain’s motivation but shows Cutter’s military/fighting prowess, Cutter picks up a fanboy named Vince ‘Cobra’ Dean (Carl Marotte). The guy is the son of a former (possibly deceased) buddy with the character basically forcing himself on Cutter as a friend. He’s some mild comedy relief that puts the moves on Mary Kate because that is not weird at all. Not after a few scenes together but seconds into their first scene together.

In contrast to Hogan’s performance, Daniel Pilon as the villainous Dylan McBride gives an understated scene chewing performance. He is just itching to be over-the-top but keeps himself restrained. He’s certainly not as serious as Hogan but he also sounds like he wants to be. He’s trying to straddle the fence. The character itself put on the veneer of being a good and kindly businessman but secretly runs arms to the IRA. He’s super-duper connected but can’t figure out who Cutter is until he beats the crippled mercenary through whom Cutter was hired. You see Cutter decided to blow up a bunch of stolen weapons just as he was leaving Serbia and that since sets millionaire guy on a path of vengeance.

Cutter assumes he is safe since he works exclusively under the name of ‘Hardball’, so he is oblivious to McBride seeking him out. McBride for reasons I cannot fathom decides to attempt a rape of Mary Kate as his first strike rather than sneaking up and murdering the guy. Stupid for a guy that stylized himself as a genius. McBride also decides it is a good idea to wound Cutter’s mentor ‘Top’ Drummond (Vlasta Vrána) in such a way that he slowly bleeds out living long enough to hand Cutter incriminating evidence on McBride. Stupid move after stupid move happens just to make the movie happen.

Some much was mishandled here. The acting by most of the cast can be considered questionable. Or perhaps it’s some of the editing. NPC characters, the fodder meant to die or slow the hero up, position themselves to be thrown or shot. A little judicious editing to shave off a frame or three would make it not appear as such. The music is generic and sounds like it came from any number of action-oriented television programs.

My last gripe with this movie is the title. The Ultimate Weapon doesn’t connect with what you see. Cutter is the baddest of the bad and the toughest of the tough but ‘The Ultimate Weapon’ sounds like something completely different than what you get. I don’t know what they should’ve called it but not The Ultimate Weapon.

Despite multiple flaws, The Ultimate Weapon does satisfy an old school action itch. It’s not great but watching some practical effects and bullets and explosions in contrast to today’s CGI is a refreshing change of pace. Not great and probably something you won’t go back to again, but entertaining enough.