Outlaw of Gor

• Also known as Gor II
• Directed by John “Bud” Cardos
• March 21, 1988 (Video)
• Based on the 1967 book Outlaw of Gor by John Norman

Tarl Cabot returns to the World of Gor to fight a new threat.

Outlaw of Gor opens in a bar with Tarl Cabot (Urbano Barberini) moaning for Talena (Rebecca Ferratti) while his ‘buddy’ Watney (Russel Savadier) is creeping out every woman in the scene in an effort to get booty. His sexual harassment and general degradation of the fairer sex moves at transwarp speeds in some of the lowest effort dialogue of such a situation put to the screen. It also denotes the quality of the coming film.

Gor was no great achievement in fantasy or action adventure but this plummets to new depths of poor quality with the addition of Watney alone. He is a completely unlikeable character intended as maybe a threat or comic relief. He never makes it to either. This is just unwatchable when he’s in it.

Then again it must be said there’s not a character here I would like to spend five minutes with. Nobody is entertaining or likable or so evil that they become a treat. You need a hook to get viewers to care, and this has none of those. Nothing for the action or the characters. It’s almost like director John “Bud” Cardos went out of his way to make Outlaw of Gor unworthy of emotional investment. 

Our very dynamic hero Cabot (no to be confused with the cheese brand) gets brought back with Watney in tow to the land of Gor because Queen (?) Lara (Donna Denton) and High Priest Xenos (Jack Palance) must be stopped. Not sure exactly what evil Xenos is doing. He just seems to be hanging out at his office or whatever you wanna call it. Everything seems to be going swimmingly for the people so I’m not sure what the general threat is. Lara is mean but I am not sure if the general population is suffering or experiencing anything so far outside their cultural norms they unrest results.

I am confused on the ring. Does it bring just a hero or anybody in close proximity when a hero is needed in some hope that the random person is a hero? Is this magical object devoid of discernment? Watney was no great choice based on him being selfish and a hint of sexual predator. Cabot might be a step up  but maybe a soldier (former or active) is better than a professor.

Lara frames Cabot for murder and immediately everybody turns on the person that liberated the land because he must be evil. It makes absolutely no sense. Nobody seems to doubt it. Cabot hasn’t earned any credit to make one person ask a question? His high standing in the minds of the populace is driven home when shortly after his return his name drop gets people happy and makes things easy for him. Then it is all “Kill the killer!” Maybe these people deserve to be oppressed.

Why did Lara need Watney to do anything? She goes about converting him, but her plan would works out just fine without any help from him. He just kind of sides with her. Did not even pry him for information or anything.

I know costumes cost money but so much of what we get is laughably bad. The women are in warrior bikinis or shiny one piece bathing suits. The men are near gladiatorial wear or fabric draped over them in a William Ware Theiss style. Add in teased out hair using enough Aqua Net to damage the ozone existing amongst papier-mâché walls and you will laugh.

Jack Palance aside, the acting is atrocious. The dubbing is dispassionate and the few who may have their actual words in the film have given up. Physical performances demonstrate a broken spirit not of the characters but of the actors whose dreams of stardom vanished like a fart in the wind when production began.

Jokes land flat and things occur that make no sense like at the end when Watney gets transported back to earth and is arrested by cops because he doesn’t know where he is. They make a comment about his clothing like Roman-esque wear is a crime. Of fashion? Maybe but it is not addressed in any penal code that I know of.

Riding the fantasy wave of the 80s, Outlaw of Gore is disappointing in action and acting and plot. The only bright spot is Jack Palance and he can’t save this.